Happy New Year

Obviously, I haven’t written in a while. Due to the holidays and my children visiting I wanted to devote my time there and not to my usual rituals. The kids are home now. Their trip was not uneventful, as they were delayed a few times and after getting through all that, because of the delays, their luggage was still in Chicago. The luggage that arrived was from a flight that had landed the night before. Whoops! Southwest proves why they are cheaper again. HA! However, they are home safe and are enjoying the last bit of time before they start working and schooling again. I look forward to seeing them again this summer when we can go do some stuff down town and not be afraid of freezing to death.


I won the Fantasy Football game in my $20.00 league this year. That was pretty cool since I felt I was way out of the running giving Peyton Manning’s performance this year wasn’t his usual. I may try the $100.00 league next year but not sure. I think $20.00 is about all I can muster up courage for when it comes to betting.

I have to feed the kitty on my online betting too if I want to get started on baseball when it begins in April. Between now and then I need to budget so I can fund it and start trying to build money for next football season if it is going to happen anyway. There may not be one the way they are talking lately.

The time with the kids was really nice. Thanks to my wonderful wife’s hard work to make it happen. We were able to pick them up and run to Gurnee for a trip to the mall. We had meals at home mostly, as my daughter wanted to learn a few of my recipes. I don’t feel my cooking has been so good as of late, but we didn’t have many left over’s so either they were hungry or it was edible.

Christmas was good. I won’t laundry list my presents and just say I have many things I wanted and some things I am blessed and glad to have.

I will say I have all the Black Keys albums now. Yes! In addition, I am starting on my NCIS collection. I am beginning to amass a nice DVD collection, which entertains me superbly.

Last weekend of the NFL regular season and I am more ready for baseball than the super bowl. As with fishing, I will have to wait for that as well.

I get yanked back to work occasionally with thoughts of what I have to do when I get back, what I forgot to do or didn’t do before I left but I have a good group of guys taking care of things while I am away.

One funny story as this cant all be reflective: During dinner tonight, Keira had finished hers and began to do her nightly loss of mind thing, and began climbing on the back of the couch. Her tray was on a box she used as a table in front of the couch. She had some tomatoes left on her plate and it sat precariously on the edge of the box that formed her table. She crawled up the back and then slipped backward right after I had told her “Keira, get down. You’re going to get hurt!” and mars is down….


She toppled backward and fell face first into her plate, right where the tomatoes were. Melina was watching and laughing because she could see her face wretched with fright and amazement as she teetered back and forth to edge further toward the floor and back onto the couch. She finally got her self righted and front end back to alee. Once on her balance she sat up and looked warily at me awaiting the tormenting cat call that she knew was coming and it came with a ringing of the bell, “I told you, you were going to fall on your butt and you did! I told you!”

She ran away and hid under the kitchen table with more embarrassment than fear and hid out until the smoke cleared. To help her avoid the chastising feeling she was building to, we began to chant, “Do it Agains!” which is the Keira label for America’s Funniest Home Videos. She said it a few times and finally came out smiling and feeling better about her fall. Pretty funny stuff.

It’s New Years Eve, Tennessee lost, my bowl picks aren’t going too well as my favorites keep losing by two points or less and I really wouldn’t go anywhere tonight even if I had the chance. I am a bit tired and really just want to relax a little, read a bit and maybe watch some stupid TV while my mind finally stops for a bit. I think I actually have a weekend to recuperate from my vacation this time.

So, this next year, most take time to reflect on the past and make resolutions for the future but they hardly ever follow through. They don’t set their goals effectively and don’t say or write them aloud for others to see or hear and thus they have no accountability. I don’t make resolutions. I do however, look for something in my life I should change and I try to do that. I fail some times but I learn from those mistakes and come away knowing more about myself. This year, I need to make sure I take time to do something clear my mind from work and stress. My focus if you have read anything I wrote at all, will be on fishing and outdoors. Things I can do with the family or alone and still get the same results. Disc Golf: It’s free and its exercise.

So o resolutions for me, just solutions.

Happy New Year, happy holidays and I’ll write to you next year.

XO ILY YM

The Cat, The Cat, The Cat is on Fire...we don't need no water let the ....

All right then: Two days of catch up.


Let’s cover Christmas: My wife got me a great coat, some CD’s I love as well as a couple of DVD’s and some wonderful gift cards to the Mecca. (As said in previous BLOG entries, that’s Bass Pro Shops). We had a great morning. Especially Keira. She got an art easel that she draws on quite a bit and her Zhu Zhu pets. She likes those as well. Many things from the west friends and family as well like coloring books and puzzles.

The boy, Nic got some cool stuff too, clothes he needed and wanted and my wife and I put together a box of all the things he has stolen from us in the past and on a regular basis so he will stay away from them in the near future: Underwear (mine not my wife’s), Slim Jims, Oreo’s, an orange chocolate ball, socks etc….

I got my wife some of the things she likes but nothing like I really wanted to get here. Next year will be different on every front.

Last night we missed on the tapas meal a little. We made onion rings and Bruschetta. I tried to make some homemade potato cakes and missed terribly. We also skipped on the potato skins but should make some this week or soon. While the kids are here, we plan to make Pizza Meat loaf, Potato Soup and General Tsaos. We’ll also have some homemade fresh salsa and a chicken pesto tortilla pizza or two. A trip to either the sushi place or the Mongolian stir-fry may be in there as well but we’ll see when they get here.

No onto events of the day. I took the hams to work for the folks working Christmas day. I hope they enjoyed that because they sure looked good. Left there and then trekked to find some hamburger for my wife’s lasagna since we forgot it at the store yesterday. This was an effort of course on Christmas Day. But I found a Mexican grocery that was open and it had some great lean meat there as well as vegetables and such. Picked up a few tomatoes never can have enough, and we headed home.

I tried to watch Predators a second time and fell asleep in the exact same spot. Action movies like that just don’t do it for me anymore. I need a movie that will make me think. I woke up and made a grill cheese in my iron skillet and some tomato soup. Yummy lunch.

Later my wife began cooking the ingredients for the lasagna. I went in to start some of the bread we were going to have for dinner and was putting my ingredients aside as Oliver our cat, began pacing back and forth on the pony wall. My wife had a candle burning on the end and the wall ends right in front of the cupboard where his food is kept. When he does this he is saying, “Hey stupid! You haven’t fed me, or I don’t remember you feeding me so how bout some grub!” As we went to the cupboard to get

I want that Yoshi Knife! WOW! And it cuts mufflers too! Sorry, watching an infomercial while this mountain climbing show is on from Yosemite on Ultimate Sports Network. There even showing my dull knives on here as the alternative that sucks. Lord. Back to the story…

Every time I went to the cupboard or Mel did, he would trot over to the edge to paw at us and make us notice him and get his food with a meow. Now I am over by the sink and I see him step across the wall over the candle and reach toward Mel. Keira is down below looking up at him laughing. Now Melina is saying “Oliver, you’re gonna singe your hair again.” (He has often singed his hair by sitting too close to the flame. His tail swishes and he sits there till it burns like a moron and then the house smells like brunt hair and he yelps and looks around at us like we did it.)

This time the moron stays over the flame and Melina is yelling, “You’re on fire! you’re on fire!” and swooshing at him with her hand. I see the smoke and start laughing because he’s just standing there over the flame, smoke rising and Keira is squealing and Melina is yelling and batting at him to get down and she finally pushes him off. Oliver flies off the wall and looks at me like ‘What the hell? I just want some food!”

Melina looks at me and yells, “You’re no help!”

Keira runs off under the table yelling “Olivour is on fiwer! On Fiwer!

Oliver in the mean time, still smoldering, is by the sliding windows looking outside bewildered thinking, “You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family. SOMEBODY OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! I’M GONNA PROVE THAT PHRASE WRONG!”

I’m still laughing as I walk out of the kitchen toward the cat. Melina is telling me the whole story and I feel like the referee that was signaling good, when the other referee was signaling no good because the ball went outside the pole on his side of the field goal but I didn’t see it. We checked him out and other than singes fur and stank, he was fine and no wore for the wear, however, he reminded me of the dog in Funny Farm where Chevy Chase had to lift the dog’s tail out of the fair and put it out because he was so lazy.

That cat man, he has a rough existence but he is happy. He has plenty of laps to get on, he is part of most of Keira’s little play sets whether he wants to be or not and Penny loves him and when Luke goes outside for a walk, Oliver pines for him to come back until he walks back in the door.

So now I am watching this mountain climbing show as I write this and I find myself very interested in the freedom and release this sport brings to a soul, however, there is no way in hell I will be climbing any mountain any time soon especially El Capitan. But I do admire them greatly. When they talk of their younger existence and how they mastered these peaks, you see their eyes light up and they are living it all over again. They are living it with zeal and are relaying a piece of history where the sport changed and they lead the change. It is very inspiring to watch as they speak technical jargon and nomenclature and how they used it to scale these faces. Applying that kind of fervor and commitment to any thing you do will make you feel good about your effort as well as your accomplishments regardless of the outcome. You guessed it, I can’t wait to get out fly fishing.

Well that’s all for today, maybe more tomorrow after the kidlets get here and my fantasy football championship is over. Hopefully, I will be a few dollars richer after Monday night’s game.



XO ILY YM

Santa's big but your parents never told you about Christmas Steve!

It’s been a few days since I have updated here but not too long. I think I am getting better at this, updating anyway. The writing, well, it’s coming along but I have been distracted with other things like fishing and Christmas.


Yesterday, I left work a little early: boss tells you to leave, you leave. Came home and was able to spend some time with the little one and relax a little before the fray began.

We had burritos again, my favorites, and I made some refried beans, which, were a little runny. Then, after dinner, the beans had set and were perfect for burritos. Figures.

Today I stayed with Keira while my wife went out to finish some shopping and such and we had a great time. We had breakfast together and chatted and played. At one point I said “Keira, you know what tomorrow is?”

“What?” she says in her quick cute tone.

“Christmas Eve!” I say.

“Christmas Steve? Who’s that daddy?” she says.

“No Christmas EVE.”

“Who is he daddy?”

“I give up. He’s the elf that comes before Santa and sets everything up.”

“Oh. Okay. Oliver’s a bad boy. He blah blah….” And she is onto the next thing.

Christmas time and Christmas crazies are out. Isn’t it funny how we aren’t a Christmas crazy but everyone else is? Anyway, we’re out today and driving around and this guy almost slams into us in an intersection as he is turning our way. He is in the intersection and is trying to beat the light as I am in mid turn. He beeps at me as if I am wrong. Oh well. And the day went on with more of the same, someone jumping lanes and swerving, to someone seeing I am not as fast as they are and skirting around me. Let it go boy.

We got some stuff done today but not all. I get to take in two big hams tomorrow for work, I always like doing that kind of stuff. And we are planning our meal here at home as well. Tapas tomorrow night and big meal on Saturday. So I need to get back to that now.

I already have some good gifts given to me early and I love them. Especially my coat today. Its nice, very nice!



ILY XO YM

Is it really not Winter yet?

We got officially 4 inches of snow last night. Felt like close to 6 inches when I took Luke out for a walk last night around 8. Whatever, they say 4 inches so it is four.


I would have liked to have stayed home and played with KB in the snow a little, try out her new snow block maker to make castles or igloos. That would have been fun. Nevertheless, I am at work on conference calls all day. I am lucky that my office I do not have any windows and my routes through the building I do not have the opportunity to look outside unless I make an effort.

I am finding it hard to focus this week given it is Christmas and most everyone is taking the approach that vacation started Monday, and my team and I have to remind people, “We have three days of work ahead of us you know?” However, aside from the Christmas distraction I have been distracted with the outdoors. My staff has given me Cabela’s gift cards: Such an awesome gift. I love getting cards for there and Bass Pro, any outdoor store really.

Because of this, I have been researching the site and looking for the best purchase to maximize the cards. My focus this year is to Fly Fish as much as possible, fish in general really. I have also been focusing on camping, as I want to take my little girl on her first trip this summer. I want to do at least one day to do some hiking and fishing and then sleep one night in the wild. My list currently has a new fly reel, a tippet wallet, some new tippet material, a new hat and hopefully my old vest will fit now so I don’t have to get a new one.

With looking at all these resources, it has made me want it to be spring badly. That’s not good as it isn’t Winter yet really. I am hoping that by the end of March it will be warming up in the water enough to start chasing some trout or musky in the Warm Water Discharge up here. Then by late April early May, I can start chasing walleye, sauger and bass a little more. I should be able to catch a few Blue Gills for eating too and increase my practice time with my fly rod. The ultimate goal is to get proficient with my fly equipment so I can take it with me wherever I go and start logging my time across the country. The end game is a chance to fly fish for Chinook or Steelhead in Alaska or maybe a trip to Colorado for rainbow or browns. I am getting very excited.

Just thinking about standing in a stream about half shin high wakes me up: My line is out floating down the current near a big rock. Mending the line so it floats naturally and then see it straighten and a soft tug pulls on the line. A small ripple in the water as the fish swirls and then it raises its head to spit the lure. Bow the rod to the fish and let him roll.

This, I think, will be a great way for me to get back in the wild a bit, share the experience with KB at times, take the boy a few times as well and do it cheaply too. Its just $16.00 for the license and $6.00 for the trout stamp and I have the Wisconsin and Minnesota borders here too. Maybe a trip to the Mall of America and I can hit one of the thousands of lakes up there. It definitely opens some doors to some great experiences for me anyway.

The whole time I am writing this I am thinking selfishly obviously, and then my wife posts this video of this wonderful guy in India that is taking care of the indigent in his neighborhood. They were cooking food and feeding them, giving them baths and just overall taking good care of them occasionally by spending time with them in ways no one else would. And I felt like crap. We usually, I say we meaning me and most of America, throw money at it. I want to do more than that and at least do a little that means something like Meals on Wheels. Just a little time spent with someone and sharing a moment can go a long way.

Over all, I am really liking the holidays more. My wife has led to that and adding her CFO skills has made that appreciable as well. We still have some challenges before it gets to where I am fully immersed in the season but this next year I feel will be different and much more pleasurable. Thank you honey for all you do.

So here’s to a great trip to Cabela’s and Gurnee with Bass Pro and the start of a journey for me logging and writing about my fishing experiences and seeing a new human experience the outdoors with me as my other two did and as I hope to continue with them and the one I call “the boy” as well. I plan to teach him fly fishing this year. Fun to come.

XO ILY YM

A Weekend Note or Two

I am in the final round of the fantasy playoff. I won over the man who knocked me out last year so there was a tasty victory in itself.


While at Wal-Mart this past weekend, I was on the way to the restroom by the back stock room when I heard an employee tell a customer, “Let me check the electronic computer for that.” I was first in awe that they had an electronic computer but more so that they were using a NON-electronic computer. I immediately got my mind moving in all directions thinking, “Does she have an abacus near by? Is there really a computer that is not electronic? Why on earth do you describe one computer over another in that manner?” With this comment, you can see it was a busy afternoon for my brain.

Off I go back to my wife and daughter to convey the message and still thinking heavily on it, the only thing I can assume is the person meant mainframe. Maybe she was looking for an item that was in stock but not on the shelves and she wanted to check against the main frame and not just the little handheld she was using. Either way, this conversation kept me busy for ten minutes or so while I performed the functions in the rest room.

I had a horrible day for cooking until dinner came. My lunch I had prepared partially the night before by making my beans with salt pork. Then Sunday when we came home, I made some jalapeño cornbread as I always do when I have beans. I used my iron skillet as I always do. I followed the directions for regular cornbread as I always do and I chopped up my jalapeno and put it in the mixture, heated my oil and coated the pan and poured it all in to bake. When it emerged from the oven, it was stuck to the pan, it wasn’t cooked right and was so soft and fluffy it tore apart. TIRADE, RANTING, RAVING, THROWING OF THINGS, BENDING OF A SPOON, SURSING, SWEARING, MAKING UP OF CURSE WORDS AND VULGARITIES. Luke, our oldest dog scurries off to hide, the cat runs under the Christmas tree to maximize his evilness while he can under the guise of my event, yet Penny sits by the pony wall with her head turned to the side wondering when I’m going to drop something. Funny, but at the time I have no patience for this: MOVE ALONG LITTLE RAT!

So I sit and sulk and rapture myself from the throes of anger until I settle that I will eat my beans and I shall have do it with NO CORNBREAD, but I will include my onion and a pickle in homage to the great Huck Finn’s restaurant in Pigeon Forge of which I love the vittles and catfish dearly. The beans were good but not as tasty as normal as I ran out of chicken broth when making them but they’ll do! The onion was sharp and the pickle delicious. The cornbread missing was a definite absence that can not occur again when I make this dish.

The dinner was awesome for me. I am told and I believe her that my wife’s chicken was edible, but my steak was awesome! I had marinated the steak in soy sauce, garlic, Worcestershire, pepper and salt. I seared them, I had two by the way, in my iron skillet first and then laid them on a baking sheet. Normally I would use the pan but baking two I didn’t have enough room in the skillet. My wife made me a baked potato as well. For some reason I don’t get them in the oven in time or leave them in too long. I can eat them in any shape they are in but I don’t like to force my palate on others when its an obscure taste like a baked potato over done.

The only thing missing from this meal was sautéed mushrooms with red wine or burgundy. That would have been nice.

I have the steak for lunch today and haven’t had breakfast yet, and am already hungry. I forgot my steak sauce but the steak will actually hold up without it so I have great lunch plans!

I have a plan for my Senior Director’s Christmas gift. He’ll be getting it after the holidays but I think he’ll appreciate it. Bacon Cupcakes. Sounds horrible but the recipe I have will be awesome I am sure. I will be testing it out this week at home to see what comes of it. I’ll post if it turns out okay. If not, I guess I’ll get him a snuggee.

ILY XO YM

Saturday Tripping

Today went well. We got up early, my wife earlier than I of course, and took Keira B with us to grocery shop. We still needed to get some Christmas stuff too so this trip may take us a while. KB and trips don’t usually go well depending on the time of day and her metabolism. Do you remember the snickers commercial with Aretha Franklin being a diva? Yes, KB.


However, on this trip she handled it extremely well. We put her in the car with a DVD to watch, Disney’s Princess and the Frog. She watched it both ways and was a great little girl. In the store, she was very nice: asking to get down from the cart and walking with us, shopping and being a big girl. She found a baby doll she wanted and held all around the store taking care of it and talking to it. I was very proud of her.

We came home and I made some of my home made potato soup, heated up some sausage balls I forgot to take for the office party and read the newspapers and magazines that had piled up through the busy week while my girls took a nap. They awoke and came down stairs and had their lunch and then we watched the Grinch who Stole Christmas, Jim Carey version.

After this, my wife and I headed out to find those elusive gifts that are still, well, eluding us. No luck. A couple that we did find were broke and that isn’t any good.

Back home now we began to munch on the Taco Bell we picked up on the way home and I found my wife’s favorite team on TV. A rarity she actually got to watch a hockey game of a team she liked: The San Jose Sharks. We watched that while we let the KB drift off asleep and then my wife looked a little drowsy as well so she headed to bed.

Now I sit here alone in the quiet watching Untold Stories of the ER, writing this blog and drinking my ice water. It’s pretty cold and I drink so much water I get full and stuffed and collapse on the couch drifting off watching my favorite boring shows. I need to watch a few shows to catch up but I also have a DVD from Netflix, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, I hope that it is good.

I got a great gift from my supervisors today and I plan on doing some damage at that store once I can make a trip there. BARGAIN CAVE HERE I COME!!!! You guys rock!

I just want to say thank you to my wonderful wife who makes Christmas wonderful and handles so much. Thank you my dear for great holidays and everydays because of what you do.

ILY XO YM

UPDATE:  Sorceror's Apprentice:  SUCKS, for lack of better words.  I found myself annoyed with the dialogue and the little rodent that played the boy.  His voice has to be a voice over for other Disney movies and I kept picturing him being this whiney little cartoon rat.  Next Movie!

Ketchup (Catsup) from last Two Days

I have been out the last couple of days from the blogging world. I have been studying for my final in History this week. I don’t think I did as well as I would have liked. I feel I passed but could have done better. I am very happy to have gone back to school and am on a path that I feel will enlighten me further and bring enjoyment, as I get grumpier and older. I love learning and improving my moneymaking skills is an awesome plus for me.

 

I did receive a 92% on my paper. Some of it I expected as I wrote too much and the data provided didn’t really reflect the content I wrote for my paper. My topic was The Corps of Discovery and Its Impact on the Growth of America. We were to write eight pages, provide a bibliography containing four sources: two primary and two secondary. I received a 20 out of 20 on my bibliography and an excellent rating. My style I received a 19 out of 20; Grammar and spelling was a 17 out of 20 and Data was a 17 out of 20 due to I didn’t cover much of the core trip stories and data but I expressed a thorough knowledge of the event and its impact on American Growth both negative and positive. Again, my faux pas was writing almost double the expected pages and not speaking to every aspect of the event. I will do better next time, period.

 

I have been extremely busy with work, this week especially. A lot is being accomplished yet it is very tiresome. We are having many meetings and discussions: the direction is positive but very taxing on the brain. Today we have our Holiday Extravaganza with two of my shifts: the midnight and swing shift. We will be doing a white elephant and a potluck meal with the main entrée provided by the office. Then I get to do it a third time tomorrow with the day shift and the rest of the office. I will be bringing pigs in a blanket with cheese this evening and tomorrow my sausage balls.

I need to give a shout out to the awesome people I work with that have made this company the best wireless company in the country. I want to list the awards and accolades we have received this year and say thank you to all those that have worked to make this company great and continue to help each other be better than they were before so we can continue to be the best. Most of the awards are direct from the customer bases drawing first hand recognition for the service and integrity of our company. AWESOME STUFF.

 

• JD Power Award for call quality in the North Central Region – 10th Year in a row 
• 2010 Customer Value Enhancement of the Year Award for North America – Frost & Sullivan 
• Consumer Reports, listed U.S. Cellular on their list of “Nice” companies to do business with this holiday season because of our Overage Protection offering: THE ONLY WIRELESS COMPANY ON THE LIST!!! 
• Audit Integrity ranked us as one of the Most Trustworthy Companies in a list of only 100 most trusted companies. 
• And even more impressive are the number of Best Cell Phone Company awards we received in our markets, including: New Hampshire, North Carolina, Tennessee, Wisconsin, Virginia and Iowa.

I am very proud of what we are accomplishing and the more we do the better we become.

 

I still have presents to buy for Christmas and it’s not due to procrastination, there are sales people! So, that will be some fun this next week. I hope to make some extra mullah through my fantasy leagues, which will enhance those after Christmas sales a little more. :-D

 

So, off to work some more after this break.

 

 

 

ILY XO YM

 

Hello

We got our Christmas tree today and it’s very pretty. We got a good deal on it too. We went to Menard’s and they didn’t have crap really. And then we went to Lowe’s where we found more trees but not many nice ones that weren’t a thousand feet tall and a million dollars. But we found a decent one and my wife got us a deal man! Pretty tree. No pictures posted until we get it fully decorated.


It was a non-eventful day at work. Lots of progress and planning that is going the right direction. The guys are fired up to be productive and have a great plan to get us moving forward this year and we will accomplish some great things this year. I am very excited with our company and especially our department.

We’re coming up on Christmas now and I still have some presents to get and we still have packing to do as well. I am liking how the little girl is getting into Christmas and the other holidays. She is really starting to be fun.

I’m tired, I have a book to read and some relaxing to do so TTFN.



XO ILY YM

I have a checklist damn it!

Today’s Checklist (As the blog goes on, this list evolves and should have checks next to completed entries but the format of the font on the site doesnt support that.  Visual is impaired a little when the list apears.)


1. Bank

2. Library

3. Gas

4. Sweet Tomatoes

5. Go to the Mall

6. Go To Target

7. Go To Grocery store

8. Go Pick up Tree

9. Go home

10. Relax



Cam Newton won the Heisman. He’s the third from Auburn to win it. In a few years, maybe sooner, will be the second to have it stripped from him. It’s not just me that has this prejudice against him. Even the snide way he accepted the award, to me, disrespected it. He sauntered up and didn’t look surprised at all. IS he a good athlete? Yes. Is he a credible athlete? No. I’m telling you there is some Michael Vick level crap going on there. Even reporters, the one’s that voted for him, are saying things like this:



“Still, it invites speculation that the newest Heisman winner could perhaps be heading down the same path as Reggie Bush, who returned his trophy three months ago after the NCAA ruled that he and his family received cash and gifts while he was at Southern California.”



Now back to my day. I woke up a bit after 8:00 a.m., trying to get as much done as possible before the pending blizzard. That’s not a joke for those that don’t live here or pay attention to the news. We were trying to get as much done BEFORE THE PENDING BLIZZARD. Went by the bank and deposited some funds and picked up some funds after a short diversion of standing in line, doing some research on human interaction and customer satisfaction whether I wanted to or not. Here’s why.



Standing in line, about 8 of us I counted, all waiting to do our different banking business. In the past, I do this every two weeks mind you, they have not had enough staff to keep the line moving appropriately. Appropriately is an adverb that is subjective, but I think my audience can prepare the subjectivity needed to create the vision o this debacle effectively.



A few things that have happened in past events here, two attendants, one floor manager representative whatever you want to call it, is on duty and they cant move the line along well enough to take less than 15 minutes or so to stand in line. If one of the reps approach you and take you into the back, it will take even longer because they can’t get your money any faster, they still have to go to a teller. Today they had 9 people working. I was sure I would be in and out in less than 10. Nope. Not sure how long it was but it was annoying as to the reason why.



3 tellers in the front 1 in the back, and 4 representatives, yet only 1 can provide money back. The others can only TAKE money. The rub is none of us know this until we saunter up to the window and perch on the ledge, offer up our papers and requests and we’re told politely, “Oh, sorry. I can only take deposits, I can’t give back money.” In my annoyance of hearing this quite a few times I say out loud when the final teller I go to tells me that same phrase, “This is a bank right? You do have money here at THE BANK?”



The teller answers then with, “The only one of us that has access today is down at the end here.”



Yes, I have a response as you wonder inside reading this relating of my day. Why wouldn’t I to such bright, young, energetic burgeoning business persons. My response, “It would be nice if one of your 9 folks standing back there with you doing nothing could possibly come out here and help us understand the best way to route through your maze. The information you just shared would have been very helpful to us about 15 minutes ago. I don’t think it needs to be a secret and if we had two lines and were informed, your jobs may even be easier as well and there wouldn’t be a huddle standing back behind the counter waiting for money from this one poor little girl who has it down here: Just a suggestion.”



This was met with astonishment that someone actually spoke against the Group Think impressments we were pushed into by these young wiper snappers thinking they were doing us a favor by withholding the information from us for a greater good for ourselves: Enough of this location.



We went to the library, picked up and dropped off books. I got the first Dexter book, Darkly Dreaming Dexter: excited about that.



We then trekked over to Sweet Tomatoes where I indulged my self in a verbal sparring match with my wife. That was fun. I had to work up the appetite and get the aggression out before the mall so strangers don’t take the brunt of my frustrations as they are just out doing what I am doing only more annoyingly and with entitlement that pisses me off.



Lunch was nice after our spat: I made my wife cry. Kudos there. That resulted in a trip to Jared. Just kidding. We had lunch, paid too much for the crap we got but I got something cool out of the deal. Through the conversation, which started the argument about purchasing another vehicle in the spring, I have been awarded my old truck back. I will be pursuing repairing my old truck. I love it so much and this really does has me elated. I mean, I was liking the idea of getting a new car but I love this truck and if I can get another year out of it, a new car a year or so later will be welcomed but this truck really means a lot to me. It has been a great vehicle and no other car or truck has ever made me feel like it is an extension of me than this one.



I sat in it the other to start it up and had to jump it off to charge the battery. As I sat in it I could hear it groan as the battery drained saying, “You don’t see me anymore. Why don’t you ever take me out. I have been looking at this stack of Christmas decorations and whatever other stuff you have there for over 6 months! At least put the fishing, hunting, and camping stuff over here so I can remember the good times.” Today as I walked by I heard it say, “Any change? I see snow. You need me in snow.” I haven’t had the conversation with it yet but I may tomorrow so it will know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and possibility of the truck rising in performance and importance again. Very exciting.



I did apologize to my honey for my discrepancies and part of the disagreement that was not right nor deserving for her. And she and I found some things out we knew but had never really resonated. So it was needed and I think it helped. Saved a lot of people at the mall and actually lent to aiding a stranger once we were out in the tussle.



We had to look at the map to find where we were going. Woodfield Mall is a hellish place regardless, but put in Christmas, a mall manager that increases temperature instead of reduces it when it is packed and the idiot mentality with entitlement and you have a recipe for a nightly news show with just highlights of morons behaving badly.

My wonderful beautiful wife with the Xmas center of the mall behind her.  MWAH!

We stand at the map and start looking for our target and this woman asks my wife in a southern drawl near to my forefathers, “Do you know where the Baby Gap is?” My wife immediately keys in and she is from Tennessee. We talk with her for a while and in true southern fashion, we connect but also in American fashion, she shells out most of her life’s story and we shell out some of ours. We use the Laws of Connectedness and Esteem to inform her of how and where to get to the things she wants. We assure her of her routes and efforts while she is here and actually, it was a pleasant conversation. I feel we helped someone who felt alone and immersed a little more than she expected to be in one of the biggest malls in America to have a good shopping experience and a more confident trip to the Chicago area than she was having.



Review Amended Checklist:

 Bank

 Library

 Gas

 Sweet Tomatoes

 Argument with Wife

 Make Wife Cry

 Make up with Wife

 Go To Jared

 Go to the Mall

 Make someone else happy

 Go To home pick up Yarn

 Go To Target

 Go To Grocery store

 Go Pick up Tree

 Go home

 Relax

You’ll notice one amendment here that is obvious from the first list, “Go Home to Pick Up Yarn.” Yep. My wife is selling some yarn on Craig’s list, pretty-good prices too. She sees an offer come in and this woman wants to meet us around 2:30 p.m. My wife is reading me the email and I notice a trend in the communication. The lady is in sales at a low level and apparently new to it because she is using a sales technique on my wife, that doesn’t work at all by the way because my wife has a set price and that’s it, the technique was used feebly and weekly anyway. But it’s the small commitments up to the main point you want an agreement to and this woman drops the price in half after getting my wife to go through a stage Yes answers and agreements that are very small and then the ultimate motive at the end of the deal WABAM! Give me your crap for way less than you want! No. End of that part of the list. Checklist amended to, Go To Target and ignore moron.



We go to target and obtain the necessary items we looked for, settled on Dinner, BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT of the day. Besides avoiding Jared, that’s up there.



We get home now and the boy is in a mood because he didn’t get to go out and he’s getting pissy as teen-agers do but he was prepared mentally all the way through the point of when we left of what his day would be like. BABY-SITTING! Deal with it! So he’s in the kitchen giving the mother lip and I hear it but let her handle it. He comes out and I try to lighten the mood a little by saying, “Get out of those bags you don’t need to see anything in there anyway. I’ll take care of it.” Met with no response because he’s pissy. I lend the comment of “and lose the attitude.” He responds with tone and saying “What?” I lose it. Both barrels. Send him inside and we discuss further all together where we are at with this attitude and you can imagine how that goes. I have been on him a lot lately for many different reasons and they are deserving, but I try to hold back as well because constant barrage of discipline doesn’t help anyone.



Now he’s getting ready for work and I am not feeling bad about my position at all, but I am feeling bad that he is getting constant stress from me, whether he deserves it or not it is worrisome and I know making him stressful. So as soon as he gets back down stairs and Is ready to go, I made up my mind to give him a hug to let him know, even though he is an ass and pisses me off daily, I still love him. I didn’t say it but I hugged him for a long time, made the wife cry again and bonus! Made the boy cry! Where’s that damn check list?



Review Amended Checklist:

 Bank

 Library

 Gas

 Sweet Tomatoes

 Argument with Wife

 Make Wife Cry

 Make up with Wife

 Go To Jared

 Go to the Mall

 Make someone else happy

 Go To home pick up Yarn

 Go To Target

 Make Wife Cry Again

 Make Boy Cry

 Go To Grocery store: YEAH NOT HAPPENING TODAY

 Go Pick up Tree YEAH NOT HAPPENING EITHER

 Go home THANK GOD!

 Relax LAST ITEM AWAITING MY ATTENDANCE!!!!!



Now we are emptying shopping bags, I should say my wife is, and Keira is looking for her gift. She asks when we come home usually, well after she tells us she missed us and welcomes us home, she says “What’d ya get me?” I respond and mommy responds, “Nothing today honey.”



She spots some Zuu-Zuu Pets and is on alert. That damn kid is smart. Crisis averted as it is hidden appropriately now and we distract her with new mittens we got her for the impending Blizzard. Yeah, a call back to a reality that’s on it’s way. I start trying to put the mittens on her and one goes in but the other is giving me trouble. I cant get her thumb in and she is trying hard. I tried for a long time too with her laughing and trying hard with me. I’m telling her a story the whole time about how we’re going to use these to build snow men and forts and snow balls and how they will keep her hands dry and warm and she is loving it and really looking forward to it. I give her to mommy and mommy determines the one glove is just not sized right and wont work. My little girls heart is broke. I just melt as she comes over to me expressing how much she wants to go out in the snow tomorrow and make forts and snowmen and snow balls and how she cant now that her gloves don’t work and she’s sorry. I died inside So, where’s the freakin’ list now?



Review Amended Checklist:

 Bank

 Library

 Gas

 Sweet Tomatoes

 Argument with Wife

 Make Wife Cry

 Make up with Wife

 Go To Jared

 Go to the Mall

 Make someone else happy

 Go To home pick up Yarn

 Go To Target

 Make Wife Cry Again

 Make Boy Cry

 Go To Grocery store: YEAH NOT HAPPENING TODAY

 Go Pick up Tree YEAH NOT HAPPENING EITHER

 Go home THANK GOD!

 Make daughter cry. Is this day going to end?

 Relax LAST ITEM AWAITING MY ATTENDANCE!!!!!



Finally dinner is here. I sit down with my girl and we have our dinner and its fun and she is being a doll. Dogs are jockeying for food which drives me nuts but is a usual occurrence. Kid gets a shower and I do the dishes. They come down stairs and Keira and I play guitar to some music as I am trying to develop my calluses and improve my rusty twang-chung. She says she’s a rocker and is strumming on anything she can hld and make into a guitar. Very cute stuff. Finally, relaxing. Last item on the list checkedoff and I am tired and fall asleep like an old man at 8 p.m. Now I am up with new energy and awaiting the Blizzard. Oh it will come.

Thanks for sticking out this long to those of you that did. There was much more but I don’t think anyone is ready for a novella today. Maybe I can flashback to what I didn’t cover tomorrow.

ILY XO YM

FRIDAY! (and I'm tired)

Training’s over. I did have an Aha moment for myself in that the training was a very high level view of knowledge I already have. I have now come to the realization I need to start applying the tools I have in more detail. By that, I mean I am using the tools I am comfortable with and recognize areas where I can use others but don’t apply them affectively. I can do better and my plan of action when I get back is to start preparing to do just that.


The main point I got after this epiphany was I have retained the knowledge even though I don’t use the nomenclature. The concepts are there and I need to employ them further. Lookout next years review. It will be even better.

The weekend is here and so is the weather. I have begun to like the cold weather some. It brings excitement but to me it also brings a longing to be in the woods with a bow or camera working and existing with the wildlife. I truly love sitting in a tree stand for 4 to 6 hours just watching the wildlife come to life around me as they either ignore me or get used to my presence. The things one sees are truly wonderful. I can understand to some extent why Thoreau would take off to the woods and spend so much time living alone.

I say some extent because the idea that one doesn’t need to be a part of society is a little too far for me. I agree with morality existing only in the company of another. I mean you can think anything in your head you want to. Until it comes out of your mouth, you are the only one to judge it. Only you know you and can be true to yourself. But once one has delved that far away and stayed away so long, getting back into society is a labor since you would give the impression of having turrets syndrome and vomiting vile ideas and beliefs onto am unassuming crowd of folks and would probably land you in some deepwater depending on the company you keep and where you live. Okay, now I am just rambling.

Touching on this however, I noticed through some studying recently I believe I am a hybrid transcendentalist. I dwell on the romanticism of nature and our impact to that ecosystem. I believe everything starts with the understanding of one’s self and we evolve from their using experiences and guidance from the respected and authoritative figures in our lives: good or bad. So applying that concept without the notion one doesn’t need to possess morality or social conformity, call me a transcendentalist.

Back to the weather, we’re looking at 3 more inches this weekend and freezing on Sunday. We still have plenty of researching and hunting to do for Christmas as well as just stock the homestead up with sustenance. If the weather holds out I still need to take the little girl to see some lights.

Not sure what I plan for dinners this weekend. Not in the mood for anything really but many things come to mind. I’ll probably have an idea by mid morning Saturday and post some menus on Facebook. Then in my daily notes here I’ll probably give a run down as well.

Gotta go now! Dave Letterman will be on with in the half hour, I have on demand to catch up on as well as start studying for my final next week. TTFN!

ILY XO YM

Thanks and a Quick Update

I wanted to thank you all for following and commenting on my blog. I apologize for being away for the last two days and not providing the promised entertainment. I was otherwise detained through school, work, and fatigue. Tonight fatigue is taking over again. Last night I was up late again, tidying up some work mishap from earlier in the day and then had to trek into Rosemont for training this morning.


The training session is good so far. I like the material and the instructor is charismatic. Needed for a course about expanding your influence and teaching the art of persuasion I guess. I see a lot of opportunity for me in the lessons. I mostly like the networking and hearing other’s stories and input from so many different work disciplines and industries. Tomorrow is the last day and then the weekend!

We have some errands to do as always but I plan, as long as the weather holds out, taking the little one and my wife on a Christmas Lights Tour around the area. Keira is a t a level now where she really appreciates the lights and the season. It is so nice to see that light in her eyes when she talks about Christmas and Charlie Brown.

I need to get off here and stop boring those that dare step into the domain of the Muffin. I’m tired, have to finish my homework and relax a little.

Thank you again to all those following and helping me improve my writing. It means a lot to me and I appreciate it greatly.

Long day and getting to be a long night. Not much going to be creative this night.  Sorry.  Have to check back tomorrow for anything new.

The Ritual

Every night there is a ritual that occurs: almost every night anyway. Actually no, a ritual occurs every night it’s just what ritual. It involves the animals of the house and the child and the mother.


The mother perched in her seat is focused on crochet. The child is up and down up and down from the couch with the exclamation every now and then of “Please move penny.” Penny is our cattle dog mix puppy who lies next to mother at night. Once this begins, Penny knows what’s coming: She’s about to be called by me to move her from the spot the child wants nearest the mother. It happens over and again.

Now as this plays out with the occasional seating arrangement changes, the cat is coming down stairs and beginning his nightly ritual. His name is Oliver. Oliver will now assert himself into the mix by lying on the lap of the mother pawing at her legs trying to get her to go to bed so he can take his place with the father, me, and begin his nightly sleep. Cats sleep about an average of eighteen hours a day by the way. Yeah.

Now the mother has had enough and it is time for the child to wind down and go to bed. The mother prepares her crochet and gathers the things that will accompany her and the child to bed. This is the signal for Penny, the dog to prepare for bed as well. Once this trigger occurs, the child and dog both know that walking up the stairs to bed is eminent and the second part of the ritual begins.

Penny, I believe actually mimicking the mother and child will come to me and stand on her hind feet, embracing me about the shoulders nuzzling in my beard as if to give me a hug and kiss good night. Yes, I kid you not. She usually comes to me first before the child or mother, I don’t know if that is a good thing or not but I will tell myself it is. The cat sits back and monitors the situation for the right moment that he can pounce onto my chest and purr the night away.

The child will run to me and perform her ritual, Kiss to daddy! Then using symbols she points to her eye, “I”, makes a heart in her chest “Love” and finishes with a point to me “Daddy!” She then tells me she wants a kiss and a hug and her stuffed animal, currently a fluffy dog, must perform the same ritual. A month or so ago it was a tri-fecta of stuffed animals, the doe Clarisse from Rudolph, a ghost and a purple sock monkey.

The mother tells me she loves me as she leans over to kiss me good night; Penny waits for her last attack so she can leap in and get another hug and kiss getting the last word in as it were, and then trot off upstairs. Now the alteration to this ritual is that the child may go to sleep earlier and I carry her upstairs. Then the ritual involves the mother, the cat, and the dog.

In the wings is the oldest dog, a black lab mix Luke whim my wife has had for about eight or nine years. He perches at the top of the stairs to watch the disgraceful display of butt kissing the child and dog go through and you can hear the grunts of discontent as he moans in dog language aloud.

Yes I am just looking for the couch to be organized so I lay my big ole butt lazily as I watch a stupid on demand show or one of my old stand bys like the Da Vinci Code, Harry Potter or Silverado on DVD.

It’s a little bitter sweet in that I have been listening and talking all day long with other people and I just want an hour to stop my head from thinking. But, when they go, it’s relaxing and quiet yet I miss them too. I guess that’s why God made duct tape.

Yes, it’s like a kid’s story book. Either way, the dog always gets a hug and nuzzle.

I love you honey. XO

Catch Up from Saturday to Monday

Saturday came and went. We had a good time n the snow but the cold and my little girls gloves didn’t match for the event. She had mitten type gloves and the snow was a very wet mushy one so she got cold quickly. Although she was up for staying out longer, I didn’t want her out there in wet clothes that long. She had a great time and it was fun to watch her smile and play.

I took her out again and made a tower with her about three buckets high. That gave her a kick. We need to get her some good gloves to play in the snow and we can make forts and snow men next time.

Sunday started out with me having a headache. Sinus from the change in temperature I guess as well as both Saturday and Sunday I slept in too late.

My fantasy football team is hapless right now. No matter whom I activate, they are having the worse game possible. I lost badly this week but I don’t feel too bad about it. I had enough of Peyton Manning failing me so I put tin Kyle Orton who is currently the second best QB playing. I thought anyway. Yet he didn’t get me 10 points. The main problem was the guy I was playing against had Adrian Peterson, Drew Breeze, Arian Foster, Marques Colston, and I forget what other superstars they were. I had an uphill battle to begin with anyway.

I usually score around 110 to 120; he scored 126 I scored 86: Wonderful right? I beat him earlier in the season but he didn’t have the "All Madden" team in play. I have already secured a playoff spot so I wasn’t worried but I would have liked to have another win under my belt still.

My main strategy that almost worked was I picked up Robert Meacham to take some of the points Mr. Breeze would be doling out and negate that for him. It worked somewhat. The other part of my strategy was to pick up the back up running back for Adrian Peterson. Peterson was hurt this week and a game time decision. If he hadn’t played, well, this would be a happier post. I gambled and I lost. Oh well, on to next week.

Today I stayed home from work. I didn’t feel like I had a restful weekend even though it was non-eventful. I didn’t have many things pop up from work so that was good. However, I just felt tired and achy and run down. Later Sunday night, I finally got some relaxation for a short bit and was ready to watch some Dexter and my son broke his key off in the lock. I missed the start of the show dealing with that and then I got aggravated as it grew in impact since we need to replace the locks now.

Seems like a very trivial event I know but all I wanted was to watch this hour long show and fall asleep. I am not asking for much. Why is it happening right in the middle of the one thing I want to do before bed?

I get past this aggravation because dwelling on it will only make it worse. I resign to watch it when it comes on again or on demand and focus on something else. I begin searching for something else to rest my eyes on and settle down. I find something and before you know it I am drifting off to sleep. I guess I was a sleep about thirty minutes from the point of the show I was watching, nothing groundbreaking just Numbers, and my wife comes out to tell me my daughter is asking for me. I love my wife and my daughter but at this moment, I am thinking, ugh!

I go upstairs and my daughter has already fallen back asleep. I guess she decided it took too long and she will deal with her monsters on her own.

I traipse back down stairs, emitting a grunt or sigh I am sure, I know my wife feels bad about this and I don’t want to make her feel worse but not sure how well I handle that interaction half asleep. (I know she doesn’t get good sleep either thanks to our little angel.) I make it back to the couch and now I am awake again. I find some more mindless TV and I don’t know how long I was awake because I refused to watch the clock, but I definitely didn’t sleep enough because I called out of work today to get some rest.

I still don’t feel rested or like I accomplished anything. I have a lot to do at work; I have two classes left and one test in school and it's review and goal setting time at work as well. I have a big load going on right now and my wife is handling Christmas mostly by herself with a few inputs from me. It’s a bit busy and a bit stressful. Add my head hurting this weekend and it was a no win situation.

Chili’s cooking right now: it tastes and smells good. My wife is taking good care of us again and I am very proud and grateful for that. If she wasn’t here to do it I couldn’t work like I do and enjoy my family the way I do. One day it will be better than it is now and we will be more relaxed and fulfilled. Maybe I’ll get that job writing for a news paper one day and be able to do what I really love to do and get paid for it. We’ll see.

Today my wife and I went about our business on my day off from work. With a possible storm coming, we wanted to get as many errands out of the way as possible. We had to drop off some books at the library and then get some lunch. After that we needed to do some Christmas shopping and then onto grocery shopping.

Before going to Kmart, we needed to have some lunch. We went to Subway. I love Subway and could eat it most everyday. My wife however, could do it maybe once a month. She isn’t a big fan but tolerates it. I opt for the foot-long Spicy Italian with pickles, onions, tomatoes, and banana peppers. I like it on honey oat bread, not toasted with American cheese and spicy brown mustard.

The women starts assembling my sandwich and in normal Subway fashion putting things on a little at a time. She gets to the vegetables and asks me "What else do you want?"

I say, "Tomatoes." She places three small ones on this long sandwich.

She looks at me and asks “What else?” I look at the sandwich thinking “Really?”

I look back down at the options and say, “Pickles, onions, and banana peppers.” She puts a few pickles on maybe five, goes for the onion and layers a few slivers in a way that looked like she put fingernail clippings on it. Finally I get irritated with the skimpy manner she is building my sandwich and say, “Would you put some more onion on there please?”

“Okay.” She says as she layers a few more nail filings. “What else?”

I say to my wife out loud, “I am never coming here again." I turn back to the woman "Banana peppers.” My wife has been watching and giggling because it is so ridiculous in how she is skimping as if they will use this same vat of vegetables all week long. Times are hard I guess.

My sandwich makes it to the register and I am waiting for hers to be finished so we can pay. I am looking at this flat sandwich that somehow, the bread deflated on the way down through the sandwich building process and it is so much flatter than before toppings were put on it. The process actually reduced the size of the sandwich: really?

My wife looks and says, “That’s awesome.”

Again, out loud to the woman’s face that carried herself as if she was the owner, this is an assumption, I say, “I will never be here again. The sandwich is actually smaller than when it started. I can’t see veggies, maybe I will be able to taste them.” I think to myself, “I will drive 8 blocks to avoid using this stingy deli.” Out loud, my inner monologue absent now from the silliness I was involved in I say, “$14.00 for two loaves of bread and mustard. This is not going to taste good.”

My wife gets her sandwich built. We paid and sat down to eat. Sure enough as I bite into it, a little meat, some mustard and occasionally the crunch of an onion with little flavor.

I am not saying I need to be catered to or held to a different standard than others but come on, is it that hard of an economy that you have to skimp on veggies, the cheapest ingredient in your arsenal. I know there are standards used to build these sandwiches in order to maximize profit and I have been to so many subways across the land there is no way she put the minimum on that subway instructs them to. Anyway, it's not a big problem. It was just a part of the day where I viewed someone differently than I normally would. It gave me an urge to discuss money saving and the impact to repeat customers with her just to understand why she did what she did.

At Kmart, we got many of the things we wanted as before for the kids. We had placed quite a few items in lay-away with them a couple of months before, and on the weekend we were supposed to pick up the lay-away, Kmart called us with some bad news. They lost it. All the things we searched for and found for finicky little snot nosed brats, was lost in the digital universe. The store had been the last of many Kmart’s in the country to move to a new system right in the middle of the lay-away season and Christmas. My wife went down and worked things out with the manager to get the lay-away money back and he gave us a 25% discount on our next lay-away. At first my thought was, “Yeah right as if I will be doing this again with you people.” Yet here we are doing it again. The 25% goes along way now that we need to increase the drive to finish shopping for Christmas.

That finished we head to the grocery store. While in the store and actually in the last few minutes of standing in line at Kmart to pay for my new house shoes, (I am wearing fake fur lined slippers. I am so old. However, this is frickin Chicago and its cold damn it!), I was on a conference call with work. While on the road to the grocery store and most of the time in the store, I was on the phone. We made our way through the store in a speedy fashion not really noticing the increased business of the store, at least I didn’t due to the distraction of being on the phone. Of course, many people are stocking up for the storm and getting ready for Armageddon as always: Milk, bread, cheese, eggs, etc.

Finally, I get off the call and we realize we missed some things. I head to the other side of the store to pick up a few items and just before I make the turn down one of the aisles, an awful odiferous yet unholy funk hit my nostrils in a way so strong I could have vomited. This odor was so odd and strong I couldn’t begin to describe it. I can only compare it to the protestors I had the unfortunate opportunity to arrest demonstrating in the United Kingdom when I was stationed there in the military: The Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament or the CNDer’s as we called them. These people were horrible. As an added problem to policing their activity near the bases, they would not bathe or shave whether woman or man. They would stuff used sanitary napkins in their pockets, not use the napkins during mensus and many other vile things we would have to feel through when performing searches incident to apprehension. It was very disgusting.

This smell took me straight back and almost made me vomit. As I got around the corner, it was visible where the smell came from; it was a mother and an older teen-age daughter, both dressed in baggy clothes and disheveled. Messy hair, unkempt skin, demeanor, and this horrid odor wafting all around them like the cloud from pigpen on Peanuts.

I don’t know how anyone can walk around with that kind of smell emanating from one’s body. It was so drastically awful even being the one sporting such an odor would have to smell it surely!
Quickly I ran down the aisle and got the items I searched for and ran even faster through the wake of the “two anti-glade crew”. The stench was so strong and thick it lingered in the air. I saw people twist their faces in anguish as they walked by and poor pedestrians that walked unknowingly into the wake of their draft, physically bent backwards at the waist to avert their nose as if someone had stuck a festered foot in their face. The amount of people bending and wailing was growing as the smell lingered. If anymore patrons moved in their direction, it would look like something out of Bible where they describe the rapture: One being aken and the other left. "Just fall to the floor ma'am, dont worry about the nausea. Let it happen naturally. Dont fight it.

We finished our shopping and headed home. I talked my wife into having my favorite meal and one she doesn’t care for as much so I won twice today. She made my favorite burritos and I stuffed myself as usual.

In the news, my White Sox seem to be wafting on the personnel front. They are keeping some players I don’t like and letting the ones I do go. Some of the core team looks to be remaining but many are going into free agency this year so I don’t know what the season holds this year.

I like that my wife has become a fan and has her favorites. It’s very nice to have a spouse that has an interest in sports. Her favorite is football, mainly NFL. I like college and NFL as well as the MLB. I feel like a know it all at times when we talk about certain events in sports by spouting off inside information as to why certain plays happened the way they do but I enjoy talking about it so much.

I make predictions and for the most part, I come very close in being accurate. I don’t feel confident enough in my predictions to put money on them but if I did, I know I could make some good money: Maybe one day.

This year I liked two teams for the Rose Bowl. Mostly out of the interest that I just wanted to see them in it. I knew Wisconsin was looking good and I like many of the players on there. I would love to see them and Stanford in the Rose Bowl. Stanford has a great quarterback and I think the match up would be classic this year.

After all the mess they have been through, my college team, the Tennessee Volunteers look to be headed to a bowl. They look great for a rebuilt team with a new coach and system and I can’t wait to see how they develop. So New Years Day will have some nice excitement this year where it has lacked it in the recent past.

Tomorrow I plan to play in the snow with the daughter a little and do some inside stuff like paint while watching some Christmas movies and of course, I will do another one of these Blogs. I plan to keep this up and work on my writing a little. So leave some comments and feed back. I am looking for some feed back on my writing style and flow. I tend to be a little opinionated, who isn’t? Never the less I want to decrease that harsh judgment from my writing and just tell the story I see with a little color of my take on it to let out some of who I am as I tell the story.

A little rambling and rhetoric

I am so sick of the social interaction deviants that are our fighting against so many different causes right now. How can any of these idiots say they are tolerant, open, or benevolent? For instance, gays in the military, why is it so wrong to think that a gay person can serve our country openly? What is it really going to hurt?

I read comments on one o the articles and it’s the same old crap: Religion! It’s against God! What if these GAYS, aren’t Christian? That really doesn’t matter then does it? You know why? BECAUSE IT’S YOUR BELIEF!!!!! You are not supposed to force it on another person! Faith is a choice moron!!!! That’s what makes it faith and a personal relationship!

So let’s entertain this for a minute: You want another person to behave and believe the way you do because you think its right. Why are you right and no one else? I am a Southern Missionary Baptist and I know that what makes a faith stronger and more loving is not beating a person down for beliefs they don’t have yet, but loving them and accepting them and LEADING them to your faith through love and understanding. You don’t have to lie and say you think its right. When asked for your opinion gives it to them. However, don’t force it on them! I mean think about it, you are taking your belief system and saying, THIS IS WRONG! DON’T FORCE IT ON ME! Yet not acknowledging that you are forcing YOUR belief system on them. It’s like our stupid country and how we are bent on making all other countries like ours! THESE COUNTRIES DON’T WANT THAT! THEY DIDN’T ASK FOR IT! AND OUR COUNTRY’S GOVERNMENT ISNT THAT GREAT! I quote Winston Churchill commenting to something similar to the Hobbes and Locke debate: “It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.” Read on Hobbes and Locke a little on that. Yet another essay for another time.

Now let’s focus on the morons who think they are God’s gift to lesbians and gay men. Just because you are naked in the shower with a gay person doesn’t mean he is looking at you and lusting for you. Gay or lesbian doesn’t mean NYMPHO!!!!! The gay lifestyle actually affords the person the opportunity to be selective and peruse the sexual meat market for the body of their liking. Most likely, your little penis in the shower isn’t doing what you think its doing so let it go! If you do get hit on, consider it flattery as if it were a woman and say no! Move on with your life and get over it! Same for women exactly!

Now the next argument that always comes up is security and traitors. GAYS AND LESBIANS are more susceptible to being turned as traitors because of their nasty habit. PLEASE! First, let’s think about this. If it weren’t a point of contention, how can you blackmail some one and force them into being a traitor. Therefore, that’s the logical approach. Enough of that.

Then thinking of other problems, laws, and military code breakers. Adultery is a law as well that if broken in the military, you are to do time and can be punished a number of different ways depending on rank and other factors. Why isn’t that being practiced? You can definitely be blackmailed and coerced over that fault.
I’m just sick of the responses and idiocy. Let them get married, let them serve. Their sexual preference is between them and their god and if you feel like judging them and breaking God’s law that way (because the bible says Judge not lest ye be judged yourself. Moreover, that no man knows another man’s heart) then fine, say to yourself they’re going to hell and you’ll be self sanctified in your own mind!
One last biblical thought: In the bible, I read it says all manner of sin is forgivable save the sin of blasphemy. This tells me WE place morality and levels on sin. In God’s eyes, murder, lies, alcoholism, gay sex, whatever is all the same to God. It’s sin and doesn’t matter. Therefore, you little lies you tell, the lustful thoughts you have that Jesus said meant you had already committed adultery in your heart are all the same. Especially if you keep repeating them and not trying to rid your self of it, you are the same as a gay man or lesbian.

And remember, THIS IS CHRISTIAN BASED TALK!!!!!! Add the other faiths of the world into the mix and you’re just another voice! Leave these people alone and let them live! And don’t give me how America was founded on Christian principles. Read your history. It was not. It was founded on RELIGION TOLERANCE!!!!! And that was hard fought even after we escaped England and the Anglican Church but that’s another essay.

So for the transcendentalists, they thought it started with the self. As long as society wasn’t brought into it, morality was not an issue. And that’s true. Morality is not an issue in your on mind. It only becomes a factor when you affect another person’s life and when you have to interact. Read Self Reliance by Emerson some time and lighten up. The world could be a hell of a lot worse!

Food Blog and Wishes for my special CFO

I got a lift from some of my coworkers this week in that they want me to start posting my recipes on facebook for the stuff I cook when I am bored or in the mood for something from back in my child hood. Aside from it being slop in my form, I guess it has an appeal and many want to try them so I guess I will do that.

I mainly do it just to say Hey look what I did: Especially if it’s baking! However, some of it turns out better than I expected and I guess I am proud of it and want to shout it out. Even if the family doesn’t like it, I do. I wish they liked a lot of the stuff I eat more. Like my cornbread with jalapeño. Nic likes it okay but the wife doesn’t like that style of cornbread at all. Always says it smells good and it comes out looking SCRUMPTIOUS!

So anyway, I guess I need to start.

Blessings wish to my wife. She does so much for us and I try to tell her and show her I care and I can’t say I do it enough. I love you. You work hard to keep us happy and I am so appreciative of it. I know there are things you want and we will get most of them and be happy trying to get the rest I promise. I wish there were more things I could do to make those a reality and I will try hard to do that for you. I love you!

Hello...

Not much to talk about today. I have a lot of meetings and have just enough time to heat some ravioli and get to another. I have a lot of deliverables to get done as well as make some job offers. We have been doing a lot of interviewing over the past three months and it is exhausting.

Today I plan on playing guitar again but at least I will be playing Xbox tonight. I want to tear into that Splinter Cell Game! And I want to try the Call of Duty or whichever war game Nic has.

I am so ready to not be here for three days but I still have too much work to do yet so I need to get my head in that realm and pace myself till I can be gone.

We will probably seeing the crafts fair that is the prequel to the July 4th festival in Hoffman Estates given good weather that is. That should be fun. Maybe see some good artistry and hopefully some decent baked goods. What’s a crafts fair without nuns selling tarts?!

Tired....

I didn’t play guitar last night. Although I did go home and had energy to expend on the family, my 3 year old sapped it all out: and not in a fun way. She already can speak for every second she is awake during the day but last night she had a little extra! She didn’t get to go out of the house much due to the storms and humidity so she was cooped up all day and no park visit and plus the time I get home is the time she starts getting keyed up anyway for some reason.

So I was fine with her energy level up until just before dinner when she began to lose her mind about any little thing. I know I usually have a shorter fuse than most but last night twice I had to stop her and get her to calm down and stop being a brat! Poor thing had so much energy pent up she was busting. I felt bad for her but at the same time that shrill loud mouth little varmint was occupying the entire house with her operatic vocal. She was taken by the mother to bed a little earlier than usual as she (my wife) over heard me mention to the daughter about how I may be on 48 Hours telling my story soon.

I did contemplate the guitar after they went to bed and the house was quiet, but it was just too good to sit there and record new music onto my laptop instead. Then I laid back on the couch and put in yet another Harry Potter DVD and drifted off.

I have had the interest to begin playing again and have looked at new equipment up to and including PA Systems even. They are extremely cheap now given the new technologies available. I mean for $400.00 I can get four microphones, two speakers with stands and an average wattage PA with cables. That’s well over 75% lower than a few years ago.

The reason this route is good for me is because, well…I am old. Therefore I am not playing Megadeth and Anthrax anymore. Not out in public anyway. Most of the music I will be playing will be either acoustic or blues and will not require extra volume to push out the vocals. The music should be at a manageable level to begin with as also the venues will not be Royal Albert Hall but Spunky Joes Eat and Greet and that type of clientele is right up my alley.

I haven’t been out much at all well, actually at all since we have been in Illinois, to hear any music. I know a few places have music from the ads I hear on the radio and the occasional business lunch I have at a local spot so maybe I should find one that is along our genre lines and take a few hours one night to hear the kids from the area. I mean I am in the spot where some big name folks started like Cheap Trick. And those guys still hang out in Rockford and play a lot up here. My wife and I have talked about doing that every now and then and just havent done it yet.

So anyway, trying to keep my mind busy with something other than worry and work and I do miss playing and singing.

Just a quick shot of useless information from me...

Haven’t been here in ages but I may start again when I have time. I haven’t been able to write creatively for quite some time now. All my writing has been technical and hardly personal at all. When I have written personally it has been posted elsewhere.

So I may try to make this a habit again to collect my sanity back through writing again.

Let’s see if my mood changes but I plan on playing my guitar tonight. We’ll see anyway. Got a cool autographed picture from my boss of Paul Reed Smith yesterday. That capped off a great father’s day weekend that spanned two weeks! Mel and Nic thought fathers day was the previous week. I didn’t know either so its not a slam, but I got to stretch my stuff over two weeks! HA!

I racked up! I got some beef jerky, movie money, cash, heartfelt cards, texts and calls from my kids in Tennessee, DVD’s, a cool ass coffee cup and an Xbox game I was hoping to play (Which I haven’t played yet but plan on doing it soon.) Hugs and kisses and just all around good stuff. So much I can’t remember and confuse it with my birthday gifts which were awesome too!!!!! I also had Chipotle for dinner…yes…Chipotle…it wasn’t free this time, I think they reached their 300 limit on giving out free food to us. HA! Long story.

They tried to get me a bike I wanted but it wasn’t in stock. It was a cool mountain bike with University of Tennessee Colors and logos.

So anyway, there you have it. I’ll try to keep writing and hopefully something may interest the occasional folk to some degree and read all of it. HA!

Happy Birthday to me...

It’s my birthday. Do I feel older? Nope. What should older feel like? I do feel older in general in that I know my mind says my body used to be able to move and do things that it no longer can: Mainly because I am a couch potato, but still, it is a mental fitness now: a reminder that I am getting older.

My priorities have changed as I have gotten older. My main focus is staying alive as long as I can to watch my children grow up and live their lives. I don’t want to be a burden, just as instrumental and memorable as my Papaw, Granny and Mother were to me.

So far my birthday has been great. Other than a small hiccup with my spun honey this morning for breakfast in that it was not spun but hard as my dream said it would be, it has been great. Relaxing with my wife and daughter, had a little walk with her too where she took her pretend pictures and then had grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch before she took her nap.

If you have read any previous entries I probably look like a flake that starts stuff and doesn’t finish: From this little bit of information you would be correct. However, I cherish my relaxation time and this takes precedence over the little things I do to occupy my mind. With my job my mind is occupied quite a bit and sometimes it takes a long vegetation to clear it enough for sleep. As I said before I am old.

Recently however, I have begun sketching again. I used to draw all the time, play guitar, all kinds of stuff. I barely read or do a crossword now. Anyway, I have a lot of things I need to do again I used to do and one of them is getting rid of the belly and trying to get my creativity back.

So happy birthday to me! I miss you momma and thank you honey for always thinking of me. I love you.

Happy Mother's Day

My last post was about the women that raised me. This one may not be as long but I assure you this woman means the world to me. She gave me my daughter. She gave me my sense of humor back. She gave me my seasons back so that I can enjoy them again. She allows me to be mad at her, love her, make her laugh and gross her out. She is my best friend and the mother to my little girl.
Melina, my mom would have loved you so much. I love you more everyday even when I am mad at you. You are truly the woman of my dreams in every aspect and each day you show me something different that proves it. Thank you for being my best friend and wife and mother to my child, step mother to my brats.
I love you and will never let you go.

Happy Mother’s day honey.

Early Mother's Day Post

I wrote this in homage to my mother and grandmother during woman’s month a few years back. I wanted to post it again in this forum for Mother’s Day as I miss my mother and remember her for all she was to me. I love you mom. I hope Elvis is serenading you or you can hear Purple Rain clear as day when I play it for you.
I owe my success, failures and character to my mother. My life started as the son of a sixteen-year old girl. Her life just starting, she made the mistake of unprotected sex as a teenager. Thanks to her mistake, I have life and am part of my children’s lives as well as others. The opportunities and influences I have been privy to have me counting my blessings everyday as I cherish each one. Moreover, my wife’s love for me and the interaction we have as we impart what knowledge we have to our children, is deemed such a privilege that I find myself in tears at times, thanking the force that has brought us together and given us such gifts.
Fortunately, my mother was a strong woman as was my grandmother. My grandmother had been alone with children and no spouse and had raised my mother and Uncle without a father figure. From this, I am certain my mother gained her pride and strength. She had faith in raising me and she had faith in herself as a woman and mother. I do not think this was all due to her upbringing, but more due to her education and the teaching of the accomplishments and strides other women had made before her.
The United States was still going through changes when it came to women in the work force when I was born. She, being half-Indian and a single mother, labeled her and slighted from the start. Nevertheless, she looked to her heroes and education to lift her to the seemingly insignificant place she needed to be to help raise a child.
My mother would point out obvious women to me that she deemed strong and wise. At the time, I merely took her word on what was right and wrong, but over time, I saw those women unfold into the great women she always knew they would be. I saw them do things she never saw them do but just saw the strength and intuitive drive that drives any human to excel.
For example, Tina Turner: She joined Ike Turner in the late 50’s and sang for him. They later married. She was no doubt a great singer and performer with Ike but the way she was treated and used forced her to understand her place and her dreams. She left Ike in 1976 and went onto a stellar career by believing in herself. She turned a back up singing career into the Diva and stardom we see today. My mother saw that early on when my mother was young and it was evident to her that Tina would be great one day. She was right and she learned from that strength and character of such a woman.
Cher: Cher met Sonny Bono in 1963 when she was sixteen. Their career together blossomed over the years into a comedy variety show until finally it ended in 1974 after their divorce. Cher began her solo singing career and then made her way into the movies. Her performances in dramatic reenactments and true-life stories obtained great appeal and kept her going in entertainment. For Moonstruck, she won the Best Actress Oscar and continued to turn out inspiring music.
My mother did not view these women’s lives as a statement of “Leave your man and you will do better.”, she took the actions as they were. Just because one is a single parent does not mean one is alone. It also does not mean one has the right to just quit and uphold one’s responsibilities and dreams. These women all had every chance to turn their backs and wallow in self-pity because the world favored men. Yet they stood up to the norm and rose to the challenge. They formed their businesses and characters until their names were synonymous with success, talent, creativity and perseverance.
Another woman my mother revered was Oprah Winfrey. Born in Mississippi pre-civil rights movement, she became the first African American women to reach billionaire status in 2003. She started in 1986 with her talk show, which is the highest rated talk show in syndication history. Her book-of-the-month feature on the show regularly raises books from obscurity to national bestsellers. She owns a production company, Harpo, and is one of the highest-paid celebrities in the world. She went on to act and receive great reviews and accolades for her performances. In April of 2000, she launched O magazine, which became one of the most successful new magazines in publishing history.
None of these women could have succeeded in such a grandiose manner if it were not for the many women who came before them, stood and demanded to equal treatment. When they were not heard, they made their demand in action like Eleanor Roosevelt. When Franklin Roosevelt was stricken with poliomyelitis, she took a more active interest in public issues in order to restore his links with the world of politics. As wife of the governor of New York and then as wife of the U.S. president, she played a leading part in women's organizations and was active encouraging youth movements, promoting consumer welfare, working for the civil rights of minorities and combating poor housing and unemployment. She conducted the first press conference ever held by a U.S. president's wife. She also for a time, conducted a radio program, and she traveled around the country, lecturing, observing conditions, and furthering causes.
In 1869, Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Stanton started the National Woman Suffrage Association whose primary goal was to achieve voting rights for women by means of a Congressional Amendment to the Constitution. 51 years later, fruition of this movement was realized in 1920 when Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby signed it into law granting the right for women to vote. Margaret Sanger founded the American Birth Control League in 1921, which later became the Planned Parenthood Federation of America in 1942. However, the FDA did not approve Birth Control until 1960.
In 1961, a man very strong in support of women’s rights, President John Kennedy established the President's Commission on the Status of Women and appointed Eleanor Roosevelt as chairperson. The report issued by the Commission in 1963 documents substantial discrimination against women in the workplace and makes specific recommendations for improvement, including fair hiring practices, paid maternity leave, and affordable child care.
We are all positively affected directly by the movements in women’s rights over the years. If it were not for these events, my mother would not have had the support, courage and pride to rear me properly. By properly I mean to respect a woman for not only her beauty and love but for her contributions to society, achievements, leadership and direction as well as her contributions to the family. Whatever role she decides and takes within the family structure or in society will be of importance and will count. The impact will largely depend on her perspective of how important her contribution is. Treated lightly it can be detrimental. Taken seriously it can be such a positive impact that it shapes history as did these other women.
Our country has definitely missed some great achievements by holding down some great women and their ideals. Although not as strong as the women who marched out and affected these few changes in my life, there was no doubt many brilliant women with great ideas and energy smothered with ridiculous gender bias.
I am grateful to live in a world where I see that happen rarely. These old adages and beliefs do not hold true due to education and most of all, the perseverance and strength of the women who have gone before and accomplish the impossible and improbable when there was no law or support. They only relied on themselves so succeed.
So this is where I as a parent, not a Father, must not just educate my son to understand, respect, aide and revere women in all walks of life, but also educate my daughter of what so many have done before her and what the horizon holds for her. She has a blank horizon that can be painted, drawn and structured by her energy, strength, thought and love. Her desire and wants will take her to the level of her achievement.
Zadok Rabinwitz said, “A man’s dreams are an index to his greatness.” Obviously, this is correct for one is only limited by the limits one establishes. Robert Browning also added, “Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp. Or what’s a heaven for?” Have dreams to guide you and do as Tennyson said and follow the gleam! We have to teach our daughters and sons about the women before and make sure they understand their potential and need in the world. One day one of them will have the cure for cancer. One will find the right clean fuel. If we keep providing things that will accomplish processes for them and take, away their dreams and visions, they will no longer succeed and advance but they will continue to exist and just be. The world can not survive on followers alone. Someone has to lead and why not a woman?

TNT, Crying, Kids and Drama...

I think the TNT folks are really starting to get the formula for their dramas. They made a business plan to be the best at it and they are coming up with some great stories while they center a star and some kind of familiar thespians in support.

I have watched a season of Southland so far and I have allowed it to grow on me. I haven’t cared for too many actors that are on that show or for many of the others actually but last night I saw a performance that impressed me to tears as many others have from the TNT dramas.

Of the TNT shows, I used to like The Closer but have gotten away from it since the writers strike. The show has never been the same to me since then. Dark Blue? At first, I didn’t care for it but after a season, I can’t wait to see the new one. Then there’s Leverage. Love that show. It has a great lead actor in Timothy Hutton and a great supporting cast. It provides the right level of comedy that isn’t cheesy but the right blend of twists and drama to make it a great show.

Southland is pretty gritty and dark yet realistic. Almost too realistic in that it makes you feel a little filthy after watching it: All the sins and darkness that happens along with the people who are protecting us committing the same moral mistakes and miscues providing mixed anti-hero mentality that colors the show enough to give it edge. I hadn’t had any characters on there that I could identify with or feel for until last nights episode I watched on demand.

But first, on Leverage, a scene from the first season just floored me so much emotionally that after I watched it I had to go upstairs and hug my wife and daughter. I was so moved by Timothy Hutton’s portrayal of a father watching his son die right before his eyes on the operating table. His anguish was so visible and real. It just dug inside me and ripped my heart. I truly know what he was feeling when he cried out “No!” and ran through the ER to be with him and hold him. The pain that is released when that happens to a mother or father just radiates through the world and anyone coming in contact with it has to absorb some of the pain and suffering because what is portrayed and just imagined to be felt is too grievous for anyone to bear. Being a father makes it worse for me obviously and then being a sap doesn’t help either. This still stings me in the chest when I think about it.

So on Southland, for this season they have been introducing a young Latino boy about 11 or so: Not really gang age yet. He has been mentored by one of the homicide detectives and the detective has been getting too close, basically trying to keep him out of trouble, keep him in school and such. It’s a way that makes the detective feel he is doing something right with his position. So I see the story right? He’s gonna get killed at some point regardless of what the detective does.

So I watch and I think I see the story coming. All the way to the end of the show. The detective finally gets to meet the mother and father. Neither are good enough to have such a bright kid. He loves to read and had just read Where the Wild Things Are AFTER he saw the movie because he wanted to see how close it was to the movie. But he didn’t want that to get out so he would lose his street credit.

So towards the end of the show, the boy is riding his bike after getting in trouble with the police twice already and sprung by the detective both times. While riding his bike some kids confront him and begin to beat him. You can’t see it all unfold but a shot rings out and one of the kids falls to the ground. They cut to another scene while you hear the detectives car get called to respond to a homicide.

So there it is right? He will drive up on scene and that poor boy will be laying there dead from a gun shot before he ever got to live his life. Nope. Not the boy! A guy standing over on the corner calls out to the detective and he strolls over to talk to him. The guy says, and this carries so much weight as you see the detectives face turn whiter than it already is and his lips purse in a tight clinch while the pain goes through his body, “The trees are talking. You didn’t hear it from me. But someone said that boy that hangs here named (don’t remember the name) did it. Rode his bike that way.”

Immediately, the detective runs off down the hill with his partner running to his car. So on foot the detective runs downhill to the bys house. He busts in to the house, knocks the father over and runs to the boy’s bedroom. There on the bed, and here I am breaking up as I write it and remember it, sits the boy with a gun. His mouth his bloody and he has some cuts on his face from his beating. He has some blood on his clothes too and he is crying and just looks so alone. As the detective sees him there he takes the same actions a father would. He isn’t mad, he isn’t angry but every other emotion rises to the surface and all the little boy could say just like any child not old enough to handle this kind of situation is “I’m sorry! I’m Sorry!” The detective runs to him and grab the gun and throws it on the floor. He picks the boy up and holds him all the way against the wall as he hugs him and cries. Then you can hear the detective let out the internal realization that the boys chance at normal life is over. He lets out a muffled growl of pain as if this boy was his own. And that was enough to make me lose my tears but then taking the whole situation in, his father never entered the bedroom, his mother never tried to come in. The by had no one but this detective and now it was out of his hands and couldn’t protect him any longer. He had killed someone. So many options are now gone that the boy had in his mind to attempt as an adult and the detective knew it.

Just seeing him hug that boy so tight with sorrow while he wailed and cried was so powerful: And being an actor I never really cared for really showed me yet again a respect for some of these actors that may just not have found the role that they can naturally play yet. This man transformed his character and put emotion into a situation that can only be imagined.

So now I have cried twice experiencing these scenes again in my head like an old sap. But I feel it anytime I think about it. These are two scenes that will always make me cry just like my song I want played at my funeral by Ellis Paul “The World Aint Slowin’ Down.” I will blubber and get sentimental every time. It like these scenes tell what I feel inside and what my connection to this world is about. Children and teaching children whatever I know, whether it be my mistakes or successes.

XO ILY YM