“The world ain’t slowing down”
That song always makes me cry because it reminds me of how my little children have all grown up and have their own problems. They make more of their own decisions and thus make more of their own mistakes. They learn from them, they hurt from them, they feel vindicated from them and they react and turn and grow and flex and digress from the decisions. I started feeling it when my son was 12 and my daughter made it more evident when she was 13.
Now my youngest. 2.5 years, I see doing the same thing. She makes decisions that hurt, that make her laugh, make her experience love and loss and pangs and she doesn’t understand it yet. I see her growing and I hear this song and I hurt for what she will experience without me there to help her and shield her. It has to happen but it saddens me. It saddens me that my little girl I wont be able to hold onto much longer.
I hurt when I hear the song but it is a happy and sad hurt. I see her in it and the other kids too. I hear the words, “It hits you like scripture” and it belts me in the stomach and takes my breath. It floors me to know I don’t have control over it and I have to yet one more time, let go of something I love and hope my guidance prepares her enough to experience that level with authority and knowledge to make the right decisions. It smotes me to a place of understanding and humbling that I cant just hold them in my arms and push the rest of the world away and just be happy with them. They have their own lives to live and their own journeys to make. Life isn’t hard because of the troubles and complexities. Life is hard because the moment does not stand still when you have all that is you for centuries to come in your arms and it is growing by the second and preparing to leave you.
I love you m children. Thank you for having what is the best of me in you. I am sorry for the things that are the worst of me that reside in you. Please learn from my mistakes and grow your lives for your families even better than what we prepared for you.
