Saturday Ramblings

Last two days have been fairly uneventful. Work has been work, home has been relaxing as it should be and other than the normal financial woes, all is well in the world with our family.

I played a little last night and thoroughly impressed myself. I can still play decently. I believe if I start back by beginning with a few exercises and scales, then play say three or four songs from memory, I will build more confidence in my playing and start learning again.

My goal is to get to a point I feel comfortable playing in front of people again. Right now I feel like I have too many mistakes in my technique and have no feeling since I am trying so hard to be correct and not just feel the music. Music is way better when someone is feeling what they are playing instead of thinking, “Okay, Myxolidian into Dorian. A major 7th from the 5th into the change up.” To me that’s just too clinical to sound good and really isn’t music. So last night was a major uplift to me and I look forward to the progress.

I got on Facebook recently just to be on there with my wife really. But I got to finding people from work and found it a great way to get to know my employees as well as others I interfaced with in my new role. And recently, I stumbled onto my best friend from High School whom I haven’t talked to in years, a whole other story as to why later. I began to see names and faces of people I hadn’t remembered and stories flooded back of the stupid stuff we all do as teen-agers and all the good times as well as the stupid times. I mean I am not in a mid-life crisis or anything. It is just interesting to see how they turned out and what they are doing. Just reading a status update and seeing a few pictures of their life is nice and settling.

Because of this, I no longer feel as if I slid out of sight and they feel to ocean of people in the world and we all just faded away. To me this proves that we all want the same thing regardless of how dumb we were in school. We want to prosper and enjoy life but more importantly, we want to be remembered and leave a legacy. We want to teach the next generation about what we learned and what our parents taught us, right and wrong, good or bad. We want to improve the world even if it is just our block that one smidgen and when we go, the world or that one little smidgen of a block can say that person touched my family in this one small way. And they remembered it and it in some small manner improved something for a short time and some people were happier or better for it.

I think I can leave this world and know I did that more than once. I’m not bragging. I am just satisfied. However I am greedy. I want more and I want it for a long time. I want to keep impacting my children and see them grew as I did and enjoy life and each other and not let circumstances ruin or jade their perspective of things.

So now live the example, live life fun, enjoy everything and endure everything else. Do not let the situation control you. When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment, or the moment defines you. And I want to be proud of the definition.