Early Mother's Day Post

I wrote this in homage to my mother and grandmother during woman’s month a few years back. I wanted to post it again in this forum for Mother’s Day as I miss my mother and remember her for all she was to me. I love you mom. I hope Elvis is serenading you or you can hear Purple Rain clear as day when I play it for you.
I owe my success, failures and character to my mother. My life started as the son of a sixteen-year old girl. Her life just starting, she made the mistake of unprotected sex as a teenager. Thanks to her mistake, I have life and am part of my children’s lives as well as others. The opportunities and influences I have been privy to have me counting my blessings everyday as I cherish each one. Moreover, my wife’s love for me and the interaction we have as we impart what knowledge we have to our children, is deemed such a privilege that I find myself in tears at times, thanking the force that has brought us together and given us such gifts.
Fortunately, my mother was a strong woman as was my grandmother. My grandmother had been alone with children and no spouse and had raised my mother and Uncle without a father figure. From this, I am certain my mother gained her pride and strength. She had faith in raising me and she had faith in herself as a woman and mother. I do not think this was all due to her upbringing, but more due to her education and the teaching of the accomplishments and strides other women had made before her.
The United States was still going through changes when it came to women in the work force when I was born. She, being half-Indian and a single mother, labeled her and slighted from the start. Nevertheless, she looked to her heroes and education to lift her to the seemingly insignificant place she needed to be to help raise a child.
My mother would point out obvious women to me that she deemed strong and wise. At the time, I merely took her word on what was right and wrong, but over time, I saw those women unfold into the great women she always knew they would be. I saw them do things she never saw them do but just saw the strength and intuitive drive that drives any human to excel.
For example, Tina Turner: She joined Ike Turner in the late 50’s and sang for him. They later married. She was no doubt a great singer and performer with Ike but the way she was treated and used forced her to understand her place and her dreams. She left Ike in 1976 and went onto a stellar career by believing in herself. She turned a back up singing career into the Diva and stardom we see today. My mother saw that early on when my mother was young and it was evident to her that Tina would be great one day. She was right and she learned from that strength and character of such a woman.
Cher: Cher met Sonny Bono in 1963 when she was sixteen. Their career together blossomed over the years into a comedy variety show until finally it ended in 1974 after their divorce. Cher began her solo singing career and then made her way into the movies. Her performances in dramatic reenactments and true-life stories obtained great appeal and kept her going in entertainment. For Moonstruck, she won the Best Actress Oscar and continued to turn out inspiring music.
My mother did not view these women’s lives as a statement of “Leave your man and you will do better.”, she took the actions as they were. Just because one is a single parent does not mean one is alone. It also does not mean one has the right to just quit and uphold one’s responsibilities and dreams. These women all had every chance to turn their backs and wallow in self-pity because the world favored men. Yet they stood up to the norm and rose to the challenge. They formed their businesses and characters until their names were synonymous with success, talent, creativity and perseverance.
Another woman my mother revered was Oprah Winfrey. Born in Mississippi pre-civil rights movement, she became the first African American women to reach billionaire status in 2003. She started in 1986 with her talk show, which is the highest rated talk show in syndication history. Her book-of-the-month feature on the show regularly raises books from obscurity to national bestsellers. She owns a production company, Harpo, and is one of the highest-paid celebrities in the world. She went on to act and receive great reviews and accolades for her performances. In April of 2000, she launched O magazine, which became one of the most successful new magazines in publishing history.
None of these women could have succeeded in such a grandiose manner if it were not for the many women who came before them, stood and demanded to equal treatment. When they were not heard, they made their demand in action like Eleanor Roosevelt. When Franklin Roosevelt was stricken with poliomyelitis, she took a more active interest in public issues in order to restore his links with the world of politics. As wife of the governor of New York and then as wife of the U.S. president, she played a leading part in women's organizations and was active encouraging youth movements, promoting consumer welfare, working for the civil rights of minorities and combating poor housing and unemployment. She conducted the first press conference ever held by a U.S. president's wife. She also for a time, conducted a radio program, and she traveled around the country, lecturing, observing conditions, and furthering causes.
In 1869, Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Stanton started the National Woman Suffrage Association whose primary goal was to achieve voting rights for women by means of a Congressional Amendment to the Constitution. 51 years later, fruition of this movement was realized in 1920 when Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby signed it into law granting the right for women to vote. Margaret Sanger founded the American Birth Control League in 1921, which later became the Planned Parenthood Federation of America in 1942. However, the FDA did not approve Birth Control until 1960.
In 1961, a man very strong in support of women’s rights, President John Kennedy established the President's Commission on the Status of Women and appointed Eleanor Roosevelt as chairperson. The report issued by the Commission in 1963 documents substantial discrimination against women in the workplace and makes specific recommendations for improvement, including fair hiring practices, paid maternity leave, and affordable child care.
We are all positively affected directly by the movements in women’s rights over the years. If it were not for these events, my mother would not have had the support, courage and pride to rear me properly. By properly I mean to respect a woman for not only her beauty and love but for her contributions to society, achievements, leadership and direction as well as her contributions to the family. Whatever role she decides and takes within the family structure or in society will be of importance and will count. The impact will largely depend on her perspective of how important her contribution is. Treated lightly it can be detrimental. Taken seriously it can be such a positive impact that it shapes history as did these other women.
Our country has definitely missed some great achievements by holding down some great women and their ideals. Although not as strong as the women who marched out and affected these few changes in my life, there was no doubt many brilliant women with great ideas and energy smothered with ridiculous gender bias.
I am grateful to live in a world where I see that happen rarely. These old adages and beliefs do not hold true due to education and most of all, the perseverance and strength of the women who have gone before and accomplish the impossible and improbable when there was no law or support. They only relied on themselves so succeed.
So this is where I as a parent, not a Father, must not just educate my son to understand, respect, aide and revere women in all walks of life, but also educate my daughter of what so many have done before her and what the horizon holds for her. She has a blank horizon that can be painted, drawn and structured by her energy, strength, thought and love. Her desire and wants will take her to the level of her achievement.
Zadok Rabinwitz said, “A man’s dreams are an index to his greatness.” Obviously, this is correct for one is only limited by the limits one establishes. Robert Browning also added, “Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp. Or what’s a heaven for?” Have dreams to guide you and do as Tennyson said and follow the gleam! We have to teach our daughters and sons about the women before and make sure they understand their potential and need in the world. One day one of them will have the cure for cancer. One will find the right clean fuel. If we keep providing things that will accomplish processes for them and take, away their dreams and visions, they will no longer succeed and advance but they will continue to exist and just be. The world can not survive on followers alone. Someone has to lead and why not a woman?